Our Story
Spaghetti Scameti was founded with a passionate spirit and a simple goal…to make quick, easy cash.
We hated how the industry giants were making decent profits by providing good products; we wanted not just a slice of this pie but the whole pie.
Mmm. Pie.
Our History
The name Spaghetti Scameti was carefully crafted to invoke visions of exotic taste and grandeur. After all, who doesn't like a bit of bolognese?
We are 100% pretending to be Italian.
We have a long, industrious history spanning a couple of months. The journey started as a parody. Now, it has become a reality – that Lambo isn't going to pay for itself.
Our Mission
We keep pretending like it's to "change the world" or "shake up the watch industry" when, in reality, we're desperate to get rich quickly.
How much money is too much, you say? Well, I don't believe in placing limits on your ambitions.
Our Products
By supposedly 'cutting out the middleman' (definitely, 100% not us) and using the cheapest materials we can lay our mitts on, profits have blasted through the stratosphere.
All of our watches are lovingly 'handcrafted' in China, showcasing our unique 'minimalist' aesthetic that's actually a clever ruse to disguise our rudimentary products.
If (by some miracle) you do receive one of our watches, good luck sending it back! The returns process is like a Harvard entrance exam. I mean, who wants to deal with customers? In the office, we refer to you guys as "walking wallets."
Want a discount code? Click here. Our watches aren't even worth their retail price!
Our Community
From time to time, you might see a YouTube or Instagram' influencer' who seems to be pushing our products like crazy. These guys are insanely easy to control. Just send them a free product or a couple of quid, and they'll shill this junk as if their life depends on it!
Outside of that, all the posts on our socials are user-generated by narcissistic millenials desperate for attention. We pitch this as our 'community', when it's actually just free marketing!
We're profiting off of the toxic, jealousy culture of social media! Dr Evil would be proud.
The Founder
The name's Dente…Al Dente. When I exited the womb, my first word was "money," not "mummy." I dropped out of college at age 6 to pursue my dream of making Jeff Bezos look poor.
My multi-million inheritance wasn't enough for me to buy food with. I realized that major watch brands weren't extorting the customer for every last penny they had. So, I took up the mantle and decided to "change the world."
By using just about every dodgy sales tactic in the book, we've taken customer exploitation to new heights.
Customers are now effectively emptying their bank accounts into mine, and the best part is the media is lapping it up! We're grabbing more headlines than Theranos!
Essentially, I traded morals for money, and boy do I sleep better at night; racks and stacks make for one hell of a mattress.
Al Dente
Founder, CEO, President, Director, Visionary & Premier Narcissist – Spaghetti Scameti
Legal Disclaimer – Spaghetti Scameti is a novelty parody brand intended to make fun of the watch industry. It is an extension of Ben's Watch Club LTD. While we are legitimately now selling products, the above story is fictional and intended for comedic effect only.